Breath of Heaven

 

This morning I heard this Christmas song for the first time this season.  As the haunting melody began....it took me back to the first time I recall hearing this song.  Just about 3 years ago - as I was driving myself and my children up to my parents house for our Christmas visit.  We had just found out on December 9th that we would lose Karinne and were desperately trying to come to grips with the devastating news.  She was safe and sound inside of me.....How could this be?  And how could I endure what was to come?

I heard these pleading words spoken from the standpoint of Mary the mother of Christ.  And I couldn't help but feel how the words completely applied to my own life at that moment.  Every phrase - a prayer - straight from my soul to heaven.  Tears streamed down my face as I drove, listened, and wondered . . .  

I have traveled many moonless nights

Cold and weary with a babe inside

And I wonder what I've done

Holy Father, You have come

And chosen me now

to carry Your Son
 

I am waiting in a silent prayer

I am frightened by the load I bear

In a world as cold as stone

Must I walk this path alone?

Be with me now,

be with me now

Now this morning as I heard those same words, the tears flowed down again and those same feelings came flooding back.

Breath of Heaven, hold me together

Be forever near me, breath of Heaven

Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness

Pour over me Your holiness

for You are holy

Breath of Heaven
 

Do you wonder as you watch my face

If a wiser one should have had my place?

But I offer all I am

For the mercy of Your plan

Help me be strong,

help me be,

help me
 

Breath of Heaven, hold me together

Be forever near me, breath of Heaven

Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness

Pour over me Your holiness

for You are holy
 

Breath of Heaven, hold me together

Be forever near me, breath of Heaven

Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness

Pour over me Your holiness

for You are holy

Breath of Heaven,

Breath of Heaven

Breath of Heaven

Thankful to God for holding me together, for being near me, for lightening my darkness, and for sending His son to earth.   Thankful that this December and the coming of this Christmas seems brighter, more beautiful and more hope-filled than the last 3.  

Vitoria de Christo

Vitoria de Christo was born in Brazil in January of 2010 with the diagnosis of acrania.  The same diagnosis Karinne was given.  And - she survived!  Doctors were able to close the opening on her scalp and she has grown and thrived for the past  2 1/2 years!!  I have followed her journey since I was about 7 months pregnant with Karinne and Vitoria was about 2 months old.  Her amazing "victories" and her faithful mom and dad gave me such hope and such encouragement to face the unknowns in our journey with Karinne.  It has been such a joy to watch her grow, change, and progress these past 2 1/2 years and her photos and videos have always brought a smile to my face.  Some of you may have followed her story as well and I have posted about her once or twice here.

It was with such a heavy heart and with many, many tears that I read the news this week that Vitoria went home to Christ.  My heart aches for her beautiful mama - Joanna - who I have emailed back and forth with over these many months.  And for her sweet and affectionate daddy - Marcelo.  They have fought along side Vitoria and have cherished every sweet moment they were blessed to have her here on earth.  Please join me in praying for their hearts to be filled with joyful memories and for God's peace to surround them in the coming days, weeks and months as they begin what I call the "afterwards part of the journey."  Til they are joined again in heaven with their beautiful Vitoria - One Sweet Day............

I'm so glad to have been able to witness this amazing and precious girl's beautiful impact on this world.  I will miss so dearly seeing new photos of those precious eyes, long lashes, sweet smiles, and chubby little hands.  Bless you sweet Vitoria de Christo - you have the "Victory in Christ!"

Here is a link to Joana's blog where she shared Vitoria's life with the world and a touching video with some of the sweet photos and videos they captured while she was here with them.

Vitoria de Christo - Beautiful Memories

Karinne's Garden 2012

I took these photos out in Karinne's Garden just a few days ago.  It has grown to be so beautiful this summer!!  I have been watering it like CRAZY in this 100 degree plus weather to keep it going.  But this morning I am praising God as I enjoy the BEAUTIFUL sound of steady rain falling outside. We have over 2 1/2 inches so far!!  I have every manner of container around the yard trying to catch the rain to water the garden with later.  =)  It looks so funny!  We have plans for rain barrels but they aren't quite hooked up yet so I am making due.

Anyway - I have been meaning to post photos of the garden so everyone can see how lovely it has become.  It is such a special place to remember our sweet Karinne.  Oh how thankful I am that God led us to start this garden in her honor!  It has been such a healing blessing for me to have something to tend to and care for in her stead.  

I LOVE the gentle tones and haunting melody of the windchime.

This sweet baby wrapped in angel's wings came from a great online store - Heaven's Gain.  I got it for our first Christmas after we lost Karinne.

I made these pillows in June to brighten up the seats and add some cushy softness.

This angel was a memorial gift from Grampa's coworkers.  I LOVE it!  She has watched over Karinne's Garden from this vantage point since the very beginning.

I made this metal sign at a school workshop where we got to try out the school's new plasma cutter.  It is a tracing from Karinne's grave stone and the footprints are the size of her actual prints.

This metal angel plant stand was a gift from Karinne's Mamma & Pappa for Christmas 2011.

This is the stepping stone I made for Karinne's first birthday.  The kids also made stones that are throughout the garden.

Mamma found this "Angels Welcome" garden shovel at a garage sale and thought it would go great here.

Had to have a few tomato plants. =)

And this is the clay tile sign I created for Karinne's 1st Birthday but didn't finish until later.  We plan to make a wood frame for it and post it above and behind the seats.  I love how it turned out and thank another local baby loss momma Stacy for sharing the "Budded on Earth..." quote with me.  It is perfect for Karinne's garden!

Karinne's 2nd Birthday in Heaven

Happy 2nd Birthday in Heaven to our Precious Karinne Claire

Oh, how we miss and love you on this day - and every day.

Hard to believe it has been that long and yet it seems far longer. 

We sponsored our local christian radio station again this year for Karinne's birthday.  Here is the sweet radio spot they are playing today in her honor:  (Be sure to pause the music at the bottom before pushing play.)

We also found out today that we will be able to sponsor the movie "October Baby" in our town next weekend in honor of Karinne.  It is a story about a young girl's journey after finding out that she is a survivor of a failed abortion attempt.  We heard about this movie and wanted to sponsor it in Karinne's honor because we agree so much with the movie's theme that "EVERY LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL".  And because Karinne is our own "October Baby" since we found out we were pregnant with her in October of 2009 and were so excited about our fourth child.  Below is a trailer for the movie.

Please send up a prayer for our family today as we all go to work and school and remember our baby girl on her special day.  We will be spending this evening celebrating her life and picking out new flowers for her garden.  I hope that the day will be filled with more smiles than tears and that God's peace will surround us once again as it did on the day of her birth and entrance into heaven.

Also - we will be gathering at Karinne's grave at around 4 pm today to send off some balloons and birthday blessings.  Anyone nearby is welcome to join us if you would like.  We would love to share some hugs, smiles, and tears with you!

Love you and miss you sweet Baby Girl!!  Again - Happy 2nd Birthday Karinne!