Our precious daughter Karinne was diagnosed with Acrania, a terminal diagnosis, at 13 weeks gestation by a routine sonogram. Our unconditional love for her, our deep desire to hold her in our arms, as well as our Christian faith led us without hesitation to the decision to continue the pregnancy. This website was created in Karinne's honor with the hope that her brief but mighty life would never be forgotten and that her story could make a lasting impact in the lives of others.
At
long last - our Little One is here safe and sound! Our family has a new baby
boy!! His name is Caiden Lee Larshus. He weighs 8 pounds 4 ounces and is
20 inches long. He was born at 9:04 am on August 15th. We are doing great so far and
are SO thankful for the beautiful healthy son that God has blessed us with. Thanks so much for all
of the prayers!
Tonight I wanted to touch base that we are down to 5 days after today until our delivery day. It's such a strange feeling having a set date and waiting and wondering if we will make it to that day. This may feel like a very long week! I've been having a fair amount of contractions here and there and we are certainly nervous that I will go into labor on my own before Monday. Especially since my doctor is gone until Sunday! I really, really, really want to have my planned doctor there for the c section. But we are trying to leave it up to God - and trust that everything will turn out okay - no matter what. Prayers please!
Oh, and - it seems we are all coming down with a yucky head cold here at our house. Curt was pretty miserable this evening and now it has hit me during the night. Oh, Joy! Hopefully it will make its way out before Monday and Little One will be patient and wait!
I have added a "Follow By Email" gadget to the right sidebar of the blog. I am hoping to phase out the use of the Caring Bridge site for letting people know about new posts. So if you wish to continue following our journey through the blog, please sign up for the email notifications.
I also wanted to share an email and song that I received from a dear loved one this morning. It really touched my heart and boy did the tears flow thinking about just how fitting this was for my emotions today. I thought I would share it with all of you as well:
"Hi...We listened to our Veggie Tales lullaby CD tonight. I hadn't
listened to it since we moved. I knew there was a song on there that
was very sweet and always makes me cry. I remember listening to it
when my oldest was a baby and then I didn't listen to it as much later.
It just seems fitting with Karinne and the new baby on the way.
Karinne is more than one in a million and you'll never forget her or
replace her. And the new baby will be more than one in a million also
and you'll love that baby so much too.
Here are the lyrics to the
song. I think you know the tune. You have probably thought of this song
too. It is just so
sweet.
I love you."
Way up above us, twinkling bright, There must be a million stars in the sky tonight, tonight. But don't you worry, no need to cry, You are the only twinkle that's in my eye, tonight.
You're more than one in a million, No one can take your place, Though I could try, There's no way that I could ever forget your face, Youre more than one in a million, No other ever could do, Cause not even one in a million, could ever compare to you, Could ever come close to you.
Through all the laughter, through all the tears, Whenever you need me, I will be standing here, right here. No need to wonder, don't ever fear, Though you may wonder, Ill always be right here, right here.
You're more than one in a million, No one can take your place, Though
I could try, There's no way that I could ever forget your face. You're more than one in a million, No other ever could do, Not even one in a
million, could ever compare to you, Could ever come close to you. Could ever come close to you
Here is the only version of the song that I could find. It has been edited for this sweet baby, Eamon. The Veggie Tales version is better of course, but this one gives you the idea. Be sure to pause my playlist at the bottom before listening to the song on the video. I hope the words touch your heart as they did each of ours.
The summer has flown by and here we are on August 1st. It's hard to believe since there were so many times it felt like August would never get here. I have thought about so many different posts in the time since I last wrote anything. But either I didn't make the time or the right words just wouldn't come.
I thought today I should write a post to let everyone know that we are scheduled to have our Little One by c section on August 15th - Just 2 weeks away! It is difficult to describe the rollercoaster of emotions, thoughts, and feelings that have gone along with this pregnancy. And the anxiety and worries that continue even as we draw so near to holding our baby in our arms. A part of me still can't quite believe that he or she will actually get here safe and sound. It's just so hard.
I've been occupying my time with a lot of "getting ready" types of projects around the house this summer - trying to prepare our home - and my heart - for the arrival of this new little one. Here are a few of the projects where my emotions have been particularly up and down in relation to the continued process of grieving for Karinne while pregnant with a new baby:
Putting Away Some of Karinne's Things: There is a small table in our dining room that I originally set up for the kids to do crafts at so that those things wouldn't always be on the dining table. Well, ever since losing Karinne, this table has been occupied with a large variety of "her stuff" including a basket full of condolence cards, a flower press with blooms from her various arrangements, and several gifts that haven't quite found a home just yet. One day when the kids were gone visiting grandparents, I made myself sit down and go through all of these items and put them away. Although I still have many of her things in other places throughout the house, it was very difficult to put that tote full of stuff away in the basement. It just felt so wrong and painful and brought many, many tears to my eyes and my heart.
Weaving Baby Blankets: This summer I have completed 5 new blankets on my weaving loom. 2 for my niece and nephew who celebrated their 1st birthdays this summer. 1 for my son Ian - who just turned 4! And who I had never gotten one made for. And 2 for this baby - one blue and one pink. Well, before this summer, the last weaving I did was to make Karinne's blankets while she was happily moving safely in my tummy. It was certainly emotional and bittersweet to sit at the loom again. But overall, it was very therapeutic as well.
Making a Room For Baby: We have been working on a remodeling project to make a room for Little One. And things are coming along pretty well, although it has been a lot of work and a bit of a stressful mess. The room is now all "White and Waiting" - as I've been calling it - since we aren't going to paint the room colors until after the baby is born. It has been exciting to see the transformation and a fun project in many ways. BUT - when I let myself go there - it's another sad reminder of what might have been if Karinne could have stayed. We would have built a nursery for her a year and a half ago instead of now for this baby.
Now, don't get me wrong - I'm thankful for this Little One and I'm looking forward to the opportunity to hopefully watch this little girl or boy grow up and grow old. But it's just such a hard road. Please pray for us as we continue "getting ready" for this new baby. For peace in our hearts, for joy in our souls, and for love overflowing when we finally hold this Little One in our arms.
