Be Here Now

Today's post includes an email letter and a song that my sister Krista sent to me last month on the anniversary of Karinne's diagnosis.  The words she wrote and the song she shared really touched me that day and I asked her if she wouldn't mind if I shared them on the blog sometime.  

Kara,

I struggled today--the past two weeks actually-- trying to think of the right thing to say to you as these big milestones approached, a task that became especially difficult after reading today's blog entry. The entry was very poignant--laced with tears and pangs of loss. Thank you for sharing it with us. I did wonder this afternoon how to say something in a response that wouldn't seem trite? Now the day is drawing to a close, the light here is nearly gone and I'm still struggling.

I'm so sorry, Kara, for the pain of this past year. I truly am. So much sadness.  I so wish that Karinne were there with you now squirming in your arms or crawling around on the floor as she should be. I wish she could be there now.

At some point today I decided to resort to song--using a song to say something to you. I settled on Ray LaMontagne's "Be Here Now". I made this choice partly for the lyrics. Different ways of reading the song seem to evoke things I can imagine being part of your life in the past year-you talking to Karinne, perhaps Curt talking to you or you talking to Curt, maybe family members talking to either of you, or I can even imagine that this might be God talking to you. And the phrase "be here now" would mean different things in the different contexts. I like that complexity.  But even more than the lyrics, I chose this song because of its musical quality. It's a lovely sad song that's simple and complex. Sorrowful with joyful undertones. It seemed like a song that might speak to you even just through the voices of the guitars, piano and strings. They all sound like emotions of the past year--smiles, tears, sighs, pangs of loss, hope.

I've copied the lyrics below and attached an mp3 version and a youtube clip that is also a pretty good version. I hope you can listen to one of them and that the song touches you in some healing way.

I'm thinking of you. I hope you know that.

Stay strong.

K

Be sure to pause the playlist at the bottom of the page before starting the video.  And you may prefer to just listen to the music, rather than watching him which was distracting to me.

 

"Be Here Now"

Don't let your mind get weary and confused
Your will be still, don't try
Don't let your heart get heavy child
Inside you there's a strength that lies

Don't let your soul get lonely child
It's only time, it will go by
Don't look for love in faces, places
It's in you, that's where you'll find kindness

Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now

Don't lose your faith in me
And I will try not to lose faith in you
Don't put your trust in walls
'Cause walls will only crush you when they fall

Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now