A Year of Monday Posts

I woke up this morning - Tuesday - and realized I had forgotten to do a post yesterday.  For the past year, I've written a post pretty much every Monday.  They began on the Caring Bridge site where at first I posted them at 10:20 in the morning to be exactly another week since Karinne was born.  And I have continued the Monday posts here on the blog.  I think I've only missed once or twice in the past year.  

I thought early yesterday morning about posting, but decided I would put it off until later in the day.  And then I forgot.  And I felt a little bit guilty this morning when I realized it.  But really, it was fitting for what I wanted to share in this post.  Today - this week - I'm giving myself permission to no longer write a post every Monday.  I've decided that it's time to give myself a little slack - and to allow myself to not feel badly about it.  I have shared Karinne's story over the past year in my Monday posts, but it is time to move forward - at least a little bit.  I've been realizing this past month - as I have grieved so deeply once again for the loss of Karinne - that I have to allow my heart to begin to let go - at least a little bit.  And that is SO HARD for me to do.  But I know now that it is time - for my husband, for my kids, for this Little One in my tummy, for myself, and even for Karinne. 

And so - I'm letting you all know that my posts will probably be less frequent and won't always show up on Mondays.  I will still continue to post and I will never stop wanting to share Karinne's story and help others to remember her.  I will certainly never stop missing her and really, I would never want to.  But it is time to give myself permission to miss a few Mondays.

I wanted to share also today about sweet Amazing Abigail who I posted about last week.  Sadly - she passed into the arms of Jesus on last Tuesday evening.  But her family was truly BLESSED to have nearly 8 1/2 days with her.  What a miracle!!  Please continue to lift her family up in your prayers as they begin this "afterwards" part of the journey.  You can visit their site and see more sweet photos of Abigail at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/abigailphillips  

And I wanted to request prayers as we go to our first checkup today with our "new" doctor.  I don't know if I have mentioned it on here, but my doctor who was with us through our pregnancy with Karinne and with Little One up til now is moving away.  =(  =(  =(  Well, we have known for the last few months that this would be happening.  And today will be my first appointment with Dr. Doug.  The good news is that we have already met him and had him for a doctor.  But the kind-of difficult part is that it was because he was the doctor who performed the c section for Karinne.  We really do like him and feel comfortable with him.  But it will be so strange and deja vu-ish to return there now with our Little One.  Please pray that the appointment will go well and that it won't be too emotional to return there with this baby.

And finally, I read the following story on another mom's site today and just wanted to share it because of how the illustration touched my heart:

 

 The Brave Little Soul

Not long ago in heaven there was a little soul who took wonder in observing the world. He especially enjoyed the love he saw there and often expressed this joy with God. One day however, the little soul was sad, for on this day he saw suffering in the world. He approached God and sadly asked, "Why do bad things happen, why is there suffering in the world?"


God paused for a moment and replied, "Little soul, do not be sad, for the suffering you see, unlocks the love in people's hearts."


The little soul was confused. "What do you mean?, he asked.


God replied, "Have you not noticed the goodness and love that is the offspring of that suffering? Look at how people come together, drop their differences, and show their love and compassion for those who suffer. All their other motivations disappear and they become motivated by love alone." The little soul began to understand and listened attentively as God continued, "The suffering soul unlocks the love in people's hearts much like the sun and rain unlock the flower within the seed. I created everyone with endless love in their hearts, but unfortunately most people keep it locked up and hardly share it with anyone. They are afraid to let their love shine free, because they are afraid of being hurt. But a suffering soul unlocks that love. I tell you this, it is the greatest miracle of all. Many souls have bravely chosen to go into the world and suffer, to unlock this love, to create this miracle, for the good of all humanity."


Just then the little soul got a wonderful idea and could not hardly contain himself. With his wings fluttering, and bounding up and down, the little soul excitedly replied, "I am brave; let me go! I would like to go into this world and suffer so that I can unlock the goodness and love in people's hearts! I want to create that miracle!"


God smiled and said, "You are a brave soul I know, and thus I will grant your request. But even though you are very brave, you will not be able to do this alone. I have known since the beginning of time that you would ask for this and so I have carefully selected many souls to care for you on your journey. Those souls will help you create your miracle; however they will also share in your suffering. Two of these souls are most special and will care for you, help you and suffer along with you, far beyond others. They have already chosen a name for you."


God and the brave little soul shared a smile, and then embraced. In parting, God said, "Do not forget little soul, that I will be with you always. Although you have agreed to bear the pain, you will do so through my strength. And if the time should come when you feel that you have suffered enough, just say the word, think the thought, and you will be healed.


Thus at that moment the brave little soul was born into the world, and through his suffering and God's strength he unlocked the goodness and love in people's hearts. For so many people dropped their differences and came together to show their love. Priorities became properly aligned. People gave from their hearts. Those that were always too busy, found time. Many began new spiritual journeys, some regained faith, many came back to God. Parents hugged their children tighter. Friends and family grew closer. Old friends got together and new friendships were made. distant family reunited, and every family spent more time together. Everyone prayed. Peace and love reigned. Lives were changed forever. It was good. The world was a better place. The miracle happened. God was pleased.