Friday, October 1, 2010
To Speak Their Name
As I've written before, I have been participating in an online bible study group through Anchored By Hope. Each Sunday evening, using an online conference call I meet with 10 other moms who have also experienced the loss of one or more babies. It has been an amazing experience so far just being able to talk with, cry with and even laugh with these other women who truly understand what it's like to lose a baby. We have shared our stories and gotten to know each other through the blogs that several of us have. And we have started working through the bible verses and grief support questions in the book Threads of Hope, Pieces of Joy.
One of the moms this week made a comment that I just can't seem to get out of my head. We were talking about a question in the book that stated: "How would you like to be comforted now?" This particular mom shared that she would like for the people in her life to be brave enough
to speak her child's name.
It seems like such a simple thing. And yet, just to speak their name can mean the world to a grieving parent. When a baby dies people seem to become so afraid of causing more pain to the parent, that they think it's better to just say nothing at all. They are worried that they will make you cry or that their words will bring up uncomfortable feelings. Believe me - as this same mom stated - we would much prefer to cry with you in a genuine conversation about our beloved child than to go home and cry all alone feeling that you didn't even care.
One of the greatest fears of a grieving parent is that their precious little one will be forgotten - by family, by friends, by the world. A parent never forgets - that missing part of their whole will be gone from them forever. But it is so very important to have others remember as well. And to know that in some small way - the life of their child has made a lasting impact.
To all those who are reading this and don't know how to bring comfort to their grieving loved one - please remember how truly comforting it is to hear others Speak Their Child's Name.
Ah - Karinne - Such sweet music to my ears!
Posted by Kara at 8:18 AM